Health Update–ENT not EET

It’s been a little over 2 weeks since I started having issues with my voice. After seeing my internist, and being less than impressed with the reasons he gave for my issues, I went to see my ENT (Ear, Nose, Throat) doctor.

After being horrified at what she found in my ears (one of my other jobs is producing wax for a local candle company and they missed their last pickup), and blasting them clean with a device obviously made for torturing any orifice, she used yet another torture device to blast my nostrils and throat with lidocaine. Presumably that’s so she could stick her entire arm in my mouth without me noticing.

Once declared “numb,” a camera attached to a cable that seemed at least 9 meters long, snaked its way through my nostril and into my throat. That was, um, strange to say the least. After peering at things for what seemed like an eternity, she removed the snake, along with half the gunk in my sinuses, and peered at me, arms crossed.

“Your vocal cords are very inflamed,” she said. “They’re also a lot thinner than they should be for your age.”

“What’s that mean?” I asked.

“That you’re going to be prone to this from now on.”

With that ominous pronouncement, I was shot in the ass with a steroid, prescribed a nasal spray, and then shuffled into the hearing test room. If you’ve never been in one of these, it’s kind of like being locked inside a well-lit, air conditioned crypt. There is no sound from outside and all I could hear was my breathing and the ever-present shriek of tinnitus in my left ear.

They fiddled with instruments, played sounds for me, tested my vocal recognition, and those kinds of things. Afterwards, I was told “Your hearing is close to what it was last time, but your hearing aids need an adjustment.”

Yay?

So at the end of July, I’ll visit the ENT office again with the hearing aid specialist to get everything sorted and tested. Oh, and I’ve had my hearing aids for five years! Time to start thinking about upgrading!

Like phones. Only a fuck of a lot more expensive.

Today I’ll start my nasal spray and with any luck, my voice will be in good enough shape to actually narrate next week.

Oceania is now over the 90k word mark and rocketing toward the end. By the time I start narrating for you again, I might have this book “finished.” Imagine that.

Be safe, have a great rest of the week/weekend, and we’ll babble soon.

Cheers.

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